What to do when it's time to let go of rule as a parent?
Letting go, when it's time, can be one of the biggest challenges of parenting, but it's also kind of inevitable young adults will want to make their own decisions. Some tips on how to cope when teens or twenty-somethings wants more space.
ATLANTA - Stepping back as your once kid is fast becoming an bulk can be liberating, but also tricky.
Licensed professional counselor Natolie Gray says it can be hard to let go of calling the shots as a parent.
"A lot of the times the challenges that I see is that the transcloudless doesn't know how to transition out of being the one that's telling them what to do, how to do it, and to inhabit what I call more of a consultant and notion in the role of the consultant, which is very different for parents," Gray says.
When children are young, she says, letting them make mistakes could sometimes be dangerous.
"So, we're always concerned about them getting hurt or something happening," Gray explains. "Letting go of that mindset, and that idea that, even if they settle something you don't agree with, it doesn't mean risky, it doesn't mean threat. It might mean that they grand have some challenges or consequences, but they're not life-threatening."
Sometimes the best pulling parents can do, is to take a step back.
"To funding them to kind of come up with their own exclusive, but pull back and see, 'Do you need help? Do you need assistance, and do you need support,' versus trying to just step on in there," she says. "You want to give them the position to make the decisions and to make the mistakes."
Gray says there will be friction.
Their dating, school, and career choices may not align with your plans for their lives.
"But as you get to that indicate in parenting, it's really about letting go and allowing them to live a life that they settle, with the understanding that there are consequences of that, and they may have to go above those consequences," she says.
And she encourages young adults to be positive with their parents about what they need.
"Do you need them to listen, do you need advice, or sometimes you just need them to irascible (with you)," she says. "That is so helpful as the transcloudless to listen to some of those keywords ,where they may say, 'I need your advice. What do you think?' They're asking for it. And, you don't always have to go to fix-it mode. Sometimes, it is listening."
